


Selfish

by kaiamira



Category: Kamisama Hajimemashita | Kamisama Kiss
Genre: Cute, During Canon, Feelings Realization, M/M, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22315627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaiamira/pseuds/kaiamira
Summary: Kurama grows suspicious of Suirou's frequent visits to his apartment.
Relationships: Kurama Shinjirou/Suirou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Selfish

“What is this?” Suirou asks, peering at the stack of DVDs on Kurama’s living room table. 

“Those are live recordings.”

“Of you?” Suirou blinks, picking up one of the copies delicately. He turns it over in his hands, brows furrowing just slightly. It’s always amusing to see him encounter things he doesn’t understand, though rather than straight befuddlement -- like with Kurama’s cell phone -- the elder tengu looks deeply curious.

“Yes, my performance from last year.” Kurama explains.

Suirou straightens his posture and then looks at the redhead with a decisive nod. “I would like to watch it.”

“What?”

“You have made a name for yourself in this world, have you not?” Suirou points out, opening the case gingerly. He stares at the shiny disc in awe and then looks up at Kurama once more. “Is there a reason I cannot see it?”

“... No, I guess not.” Kurama admits with a shrug. He takes the disc and then moves to turn on the television and DVD player. He hears Suirou move to sit more comfortably, and wonders why the elder tengu wants to see such a thing. It’s full of noisy humans and unfamiliar things like bright lights and electric effects. 

Suirou has a difficult enough time with the things in Kurama’s apartment, after all. He once hid from the _toaster_. The elder tengu might be over half a century old, but the workings of the current human world confound him.

Kurama doesn’t mind when Suirou comes by for random visits like this, though he isn’t sure why they’re becoming more frequent. There isn’t anything _wrong_ with that, though he still feels Suirou has some agenda that he isn’t sharing. It doesn’t seem to be about the mountain and Kurama’s place there, at least.

“There.” Kurama says once everything is ready with the DVD player. He’s quite proud of this performance, and presses play with a small smile. The redhead notices that Suirou’s tea needs refilling, and goes into the kitchen to make some more.

He’s used to hearing playbacks of his own voice, along with the screaming fans. It makes Kurama’s smile grow, and when he returns to the living room with a fresh pot of tea a few minutes later he finds Suirou leaning forward in an uncharacteristic show of eagerness. His eyes are trained on the screen -- wide and shimmering -- and he doesn’t even seem to notice Kurama until the redhead sits down next to him and refills his tea.

“O-oh, Shinjirou…”

“What?”

Suirou is staring at _him_ now, almost with the same glassy-eyed admiration he expects from his most faithful fans.

“You are lovely.” Suirou concludes, looking away. “I am lucky that I was the first to hear your singing voice, years ago.”

Kurama becomes flustered at that. Of course Suirou is the reason he loves music; the elder tengu’s talent with the flute was often his only comfort during the painful days of his childhood on the mountain. Kurama didn’t sing much back then, just a little and to himself, but Suirou had caught him once and the way Suirou smiled at the sound of his voice never left his memories.

“My voice has changed a lot.” The redhead finally says, sheepish.

“Yes. Many things have changed.” Suirou agrees. He sounds conflicted about that, and looks like he’s about to say something but stops short of doing so. Kurama’s had enough of this and the confusing feeling it gives him, so he sighs.

“You keep coming to see me like you want to talk about something, but we never talk about it.” Kurama mutters, frowning. “Is something going on, Brother Suirou?”

“You are perceptive.”

“What is it, then?”

“... To see if you were involved with anyone.”

“Involved?!” Kurama repeats, so shocked he almost chokes on his tea. “What the hell do any of the elders care--”

“Not for their sake.” Suirou interjects quickly, shaking his head. “For my own.”

The redhead stops his tirade, frozen. Suirou won’t meet his eyes all of a sudden, the elder tengu’s gaze focused on his tea. The rippling surface of the liquid seems to hold some mystery for him.

“... What are you talking about?”

“Look at you, in your prime. And to these humans, even more so.” Suirou says, looking back at the television. Kurama picks up the remote and hits the stop button, halting the sound of guitar chords and the chaos of the crowd.

“I don’t understand.”

“Have you come to know the ways of women?”

It's not the question Kurama expects to hear at all. “B-brother Suirou!”

“Do not call me that.” Suirou says in a harsh whisper, glancing away. “For once, please… say my name plainly.”

Kurama now realizes something is definitely **amiss** , and that he was right all along in thinking that Suirou had another reason for his visits.

“Alright. Explain yourself.” Kurama says, using more authority than he’s ever let creep into his voice when addressing the elder tengu. “Suirou.”

The sound of his name does **something** to Suirou; he blushes. It’s so obvious because of his pale features, and Kurama doesn’t know what to make of it.

“I have visited you to see you, yes, and inquire about your health. I have made sure to stagger my visits at different times on different days to see if you were with anyone.” Suirou explains. Kurama already knows that he wasn’t with anyone, unless arguing on the phone with his manager counted. At least now he knows why Suirou showed up at dawn that one time.

“Why--”

“I am selfish.”

“Selfish?”

“I want those people to adore you. I want you to feel loved by many, as you deserve.” Suirou says, shaking his head slightly. “At the same time, I wish that you would look with happiness only at me, as you did before.”

Kurama goes still. What he’s hearing doesn’t make sense to him. Is Suirou really saying what this sounds like…?

“You’re jealous?”

“It is an ugly word.” Suirou sighs quietly. “But yes, very much so. The place in my heart for you is--”

Kurama does something very foolish. He doesn’t wait for the end of the sentence; he simply leans in and kisses Suirou. It’s impulsive and warm and _good_ , an obvious gesture that can’t be misinterpreted even when he pulls back with a burning blush on his face.

What the hell is he thinking? He can’t just **kiss** Suirou, it’s… it’s Suirou. Kurama should be saying a thousand apologies right now for being so bold, but he can’t. The elder tengu is looking at him with so many emotions on his face that Kurama can’t tell them apart.

Disgust doesn’t seem to be one of them, though.

“You wanted that.” Kurama finally manages to say, confused by this realization. Suirou nods slowly at the accusation, biting his lip. The action draws Kurama’s gaze to his mouth and the redhead suddenly can’t think straight. So Suirou feels _this_ way about him? When did that happen?

“I’m sorry, Shinjirou. I should not have told you.”

Kurama shakes his head at the apology. They sit in silence for a while, and then the redhead stands up in a huff. Kurama turns off the television and then holds out his hand to the elder tengu.

“Shinjirou?” Suirou says, the most hesitant Kurama has ever heard him.

“Come on.”

Suirou looks up at him curiously, but then takes his hand. Kurama helps the elder tengu to his feet and then leads him to his bedroom. Before Suirou can say anything, Kurama’s pulled him onto the bed and into a loose -- but obvious -- hold.

Kurama lets his head rest against Suirou’s shoulder, something he often did as a child, before speaking quietly.

“I’ve known the ways of women, as you put it. Men too.” Kurama admits quietly, wondering if that makes Suirou think any less of him. The elder tengu’s breath hitches at the admission, and Kurama feels the sudden warmth of Suirou’s hand settling against his back.

“Humans?”

Kurama nods silently in answer.

“Ones you cared for?”

Kurama hums at the question. He isn’t sure what to say. Suirou’s fingers sweep upward along his spine and then over the back of his neck, into his hair. The redhead can’t stop himself from shivering at the touch.

“I cared about them in a way, but… compared to you…”

Suirou nuzzles him. It’s familiar and comforting, yet there’s something else behind it this time that makes excitement pool in Kurama’s stomach. He presses his body a little more insistently against the elder tengu’s, shifting closer so more of his weight settles against Suirou. During one of the deliberate nuzzles, Kurama lifts his head suddenly so their lips meet again.

“Do not do that again unless you mean it, Shinjirou.” Suirou warns softly, though he’s trembling. Kurama holds him more securely, repeating the gentle kiss. This time Suirou returns it, and the intensity of that action is so overwhelming that Kurama has to close his eyes.

“I meant it the first time I did it.” Kurama replies stubbornly. 

Suirou frames Kurama’s face in his hands, and this time the elder tengu initiates the kiss between them. It’s heated but so very _welcoming_ , and Kurama melts into it.


End file.
